PUNK N’ SKIN JOKES
Q: What do you call a punk hitchhiker?
A: Stranded.
Q: What do you call a punk without a girlfriend?
A: Homeless.
Q. If there is a punk and a skinhead in the back of a car, who is in the front?
A. A cop.
Q: Three drunken skinheads jump off a building. One skin had been drinking Guinness, the second Fosters, and the third Blatz. Which one hits the ground first?
A: Who the hell cares?
Q: How many punks does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None: punks cant change a thing.
Q: How many straight-edgers does it take to drink a case of beer?
A: One, if no ones looking.
Q: What’s the difference between a cop car and a porcupine?
A: A porcupine has pricks on the outside.
Q: How many punks does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Five: One to do it and four to write a zine about it.
Q: How many skinheads does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Ten: One to screw it in and nine to watch his back.
Q: How many skaters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Two: One to do it and one to film it.
Q: How many punks does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Twenty: One to screw it in and nineteen to call him a sellout
Q: How many emo kids does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Five: One to change it and four to pass out lyrics.
Q: How do you get a punk out of the bathtub?
A: Turn on the water.
Q: How many punks does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Four: One to stand on the chair to screw it in, one to kick the chair out from under him, one to say how punk rock that was, and the fourth to say, Shut the fuck up Mike!
Q: What has eight arms and kills its girlfriend?
A: Squid Vicious.
Q: What has eight arms and still can’t play bass worth shit?
A: Squid Vicious.
Q: How many straight-edgers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: None, they don’t screw.
Q: What do you call a guy who hangs out with musicians?
A: A drummer.
Q: What is the difference between a fascist and a trampoline?
A: You take your boots off before jumping on a trampoline.
Q: Why are cops buried 12 feet deep when they die instead of the normal six feet?
A: Because deep down they are really good people.
Q: An apartment building in California has skins living on the first floor, punks on the second floor, and hippies on the third. One day a big fire burns the building to the ground. Who survived?
A: The skins. They were at work.
Q: What do you call a bunch of racist skinheads at the bottom of the ocean?
A: A good start.
Q: How do you get a one-armed punk out of a tree?
A: Throw him a beer.
Q: How many punks does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: None, they only screw in a puddle of vomit.
If you came upon a cop struggling in a raging river, and you had a choice between rescuing him, or taking a Pulitzer-prize-winning photograph; what shutter speed would you use?
A punk, a mod, and a skin walk into a bar. The bartender hands them each a beer with a fly in it. The mod turns the beer away. the punk drinks the beer despite the fly, and the skinhead grabs the fly by the wings and yells “Spit it out! Spit it out, you bastard!”
Hello my name is king life(100), I really enjoyed these awesome punk jokes, I will be showing my grandpa ( he’s a punk)